Behind the Red
by CookiesN'Cream124
Summary: "You floated the man you loved to save your people... she sacrificed some of her people to save the man she loved." Short one-shot following 2x13. Mild Abby/Kane, mentions of Bellarke.


Okay, so this started plotting itself out in my brain as soon as I heard Abby's "Like killing the man you love to save your people", in the last episode, which I thought was one of the best episodes of the whole series. Enjoy!

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A sliver of sunlight is starting to peek out from behind the tarp covering the doorway as Abby sits cross-legged on the floor next to the man she spent hours stitching back together. There's a small photograph in her hands, worn and creased from its place in the pocket of her jacket. She's tired, so tired, but with everything that's happened in the last 24 hours, she doesn't want to know what images lurk behind her eyelids, just waiting for her to go to sleep.

So she keeps tracing the sharp jawline and broad shoulders of the man in the photo, moves on to run her thumb over the almost golden halo surrounding the young girls head. She's spent hours looking at the smiles that have become so foreign. For the one with the shadow of stubble on his jaw, it's because it's been so long since she last saw that smile. So long since she watched him be sucked into the black galaxy that was all they had ever known. For the young girl, it's because a woman filled with darkness now stands in her place, and Abby is truly struggling to see the daughter she used to know, especially after all this.

She's so lost in that old photograph that she misses Kane silently stirring beside her, not noticing his head turning slowly to take in his surroundings.

To take in her and that damn piece of paper that encompasses everything her life used to be.

It isn't until his hand touches her arm softly that she turns to look at him where he's been resting all night.

"She's stronger than any of us could ever hope to be." He rasps quietly.

"What?" Abby quickly folds the picture and puts it back in the pocket it's been in since she fell from the sky. She moves her back from against the wall and turns toward the man behind her, moving to check Kane's stitches, but his hand reaches out and halts her movements.

"You're looking at her decisions like they're weak, like they aren't the way to do things. But Abby, this isn't the Ark, and it's not black and white and grey down here. It's green and brown and blue and a whole lot of red lately. The decisions she's made, the things she's had to do, you can't understand how your daughter made those decisions because this isn't the Clarke you knew, and that's just it. She's no longer the prisoner trapped in the sky, she's fighting to survive. She's fighting for the survival of her people. And ultimately, by not evacuating the city she made the decision you didn't have the strength to." His voice has steadily gained back its strength, and his eyes are soft as his gaze locks onto Abby's eyes.

"You floated the man you loved to save your people. But your daughter… Abby, she sacrificed some of her people to save the man she loved. So that he could save the rest of the people they both have grown to love, the friends that fought a war by their sides, and in turn, she and Bellamy are going to save us all."

"No. She could have done more. We didn't have to lose so many." Abby is looking down, her jaw set firm. There is always another way. Clarke could have… she doesn't know, but something. Just, something other than running away and saving herself.

"If you could go back and do everything all over again, would you float Jake?" He hears her sharp intake of breath, sees her entire body tense.

"How can you ask me that?" Anger flashes in her eyes as she meets his.

"Can you honestly say you'd do it all the same? Can you tell me that you would ever wish that decision, that guilt, on any other being? That you would ever want someone to do the same?" He holds her gaze defiantly, refusing to back down.

"No." She whispers, but her voice cracks nonetheless.

"What happened was a tragedy. But it is the Mountain Men who are responsible for the lives that were lost, not Clarke. She will be responsible for the Sky People's survival, along with Bellamy. She kept him alive, and he will take down the people that are truly behind all this."

Tears shine in her eyes and she feels a one stray down the side of her face. Her hands are shaking and whatever strength she had that kept her awake for so long drains out of her with a long sigh. So she carefully settles herself in next to Kane on his pallet, placing her head against his chest and listening to his steady heartbeats reverberate in her ears. His arm snakes around her shoulders and holds her close, and for the first time in a long time, Abby feels like everything might turn out alright.

"Do you really think she loves him?" She's half asleep, but that snippet of his speech has been replaying over and over again in her mind and she doesn't know if she's insane for starting to see it too.

"They've been through a lot together. In a lot of ways, the two of them are the only reason any of the 100 survived. You've seen how they are together. Like the only place that feels right to them is right next to each other, leading together. You've seen the conversations they have just by looking at each other. You may not have noticed it till now, but you've seen it all." His voice is quiet in the stillness of the dawn.

And she has. The way Bellamy stayed close to Clarke after she killed Finn, always near enough that he would be there in a split-second if she needed him. She's seen the way they both relax as soon as they sit together to eat dinner after a long day on different rotations. She saw the desperation in Clarke's eyes when Bellamy hadn't made contact from Mount Weather. She mentally kicks herself for not realizing sooner.

Her daughter, in the midst of the wars, and in spite of the blood on her hands, has found a beacon of hope. A rock keeping her from floating away.

Abby only hopes that after the war is over and the red fades away, her daughter gives herself a chance to be happy again.

"I always knew she was her father's daughter." She mumbles softly. "She's prepared to do what she has to. She's too stubborn, too strong, to repeat my mistakes." She settles closer into Kane's side and breathes deeply.

"And thank God for that."


End file.
